Dear Cow,

I wasn’t sure how exactly to address you but you’re the one we indians feel respectful towards even when you walk aimlessly along roads that are meant to be thoroughfares for traffic. We are understanding and forgiving and even good humoured about your blatant disregard for road safety. We indulgently accept your contemptuous stare when we honk to get you to move out of the way.

According to the dictionary, a cow also means an unkind or unpleasant woman. I admit i too use the term quite freely in that context but it wasn’t until recently that i questioned why a cow should be synonymous with an unpleasant and unkind woman. However, that’s not the point here. The point is you don’t seem too concerned about your reputation or image.

So dear cow,

An incident occurred recently. You were at the heart of the controversy.

You must have heard of a gentleman who was mobbed and killed by his long time neighbours because they took great exception to the notion that one of your ilk may have been killed and eaten by the family. So strong was this exception that they forgot they were a close knit community. They beat up an 80yr old grandmother. They beat up his son. Put him in hospital in critical condition. And KILLED a man. Ruthlessly. In cold blood. An eye for an eye or a human life for a rumoured cow life?

Maybe, dogs, monkeys, goats, fish, poultry will want their supporters to do the same? Maybe, the human race need not fear a nuclear warhead as much as an animal uprising? Maybe, all animals out there are building armies of humans who will fight and kill each other so that the animals can finally rule the world?

I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

With deep respect,

a curious onlooker

Dear Indian ‘Mass’ Television,

I have had the distinctive pleasure of being associated with you for two decades now. This tryst with entertainment began on an off chance and it continued as an uneasy dance where often we fell into misstep with each other and occasionally enjoyed the perfect waltz.

My fascination with you was all about your ability to effortlessly enter every home and make yourself the most cherished family member. Your ability to connect people with stories that touched their hearts. I don’t see that heart any more. I see mathematics and research and science and a lot of second guessing.
Why are you no longer the confident, sassy, strong individual with a mind of your own?
Why are there no icons that stand out and stand apart as beacons of light?
Why oh why are you such a sea of predictable consistency?

I think i know why. You want them to feel comfort in your presence. Not discomfort. You want them to feel lulled into the belief that nothing has changed. We are one big happy family in one big saccharine slug fest. You don’t want to take a chance on your popularity waning. You want the hero worship. You want to be everything to everyone and not just something to everyone. Its getting tougher though, isn’t it? Too many people to please … too many differing tastes … too tall an ask.

There’s an army of believers out there preparing to wage war for an original, breakthrough idea … in itself a cliche! You do need to wrest control and take charge, dear television, before the new age, brazen, mavericks get the better of you. I’m rooting for you.

affectionately yours,

family member

Letters to Everyone and Anyone

Dear everyone and anyone,

I use my power over words. Powerful, potent, sharp language that i know will slice and dice or create ripples of warmth and affection or easy intimidation or scathing wrath or a frisson of excitement … its all words. Its what i know. Its what i love.

This blog will attempt to be a series of letters to the world at large and individuals at random. The target will be unaware. The content will be unpredictable. The arrows may strike home or miss.

There is no agenda and no larger goal … well, maybe, it could become a compilation for a book … who knows. I’m invoking the SECRET here – the gospel that everyone swears by, few understand and many latch onto in the belief that they will earn redemption from their unfulfilling lives.

I don’t know who i will feel like addressing a letter to when the new day dawns. I look forward to surprising myself.

Have a good day.